what i read during lockdown

i am absolutely bound by this idea that each book finds you when you need it. almost each of the books i have read during lockdown made me cry and i am definitely not a crier. i do not even remember when i cried this much. all the books i read were spiritually based or novels i was never ready to read and always wanted to. like when i read unbearable lightness of being for the first time. i kinda understood, that by the time i have finished the most famous kundera's book, my life would never be the same.

so take this as a recommendation from beyond for your future self in despair. do not take this as an article of books YOU MUST READ RIGHT NOW. each of these books need time. time to read it properly and time for your mind to be ready for it.

NORMAL PEOPLE by SALLY ROONEY
oh boy. oh boy. this is my kind of novel. marianne is my kind of woman. and connell? well, he is that kind of guy i would love forever, but probably never date. i like books where conversation is not the essence where feelings and situations are explained with well expressed words that make you feel like you are part of it. i need to feel the book through and through. i need to be pulled through those feelings till i am drained like the czech republic right now.
this is a novel of deep friendship and connection of two people who misunderstand each other on a daily basis, yet they stick to each other. i loved every word in this book. and i could relate so much to marienne that it hurts to my core.
there is also a series that is basically the same and with a killer soundtrack.

A LITTLE LIFE by HANYA YANAGIHARA
this book needs dedication and love for literature. i kid you not, you must have a relationship to proper novels and books. this book has 700 pages of pain. pure pain and hell. my heart hurts just when i think about it. my breath stops for a little bit when i imagine what it was to read this. i don't want to be overly dramatic, because i know people who just waved their hands like this book was nothing, yet they had finished this book, because all these people also dedicated their lives to literature.
it is very explicit writing and harsh story. you also need to have a good stomach for this. but mostly, you need to be mentally ready and stable, because i believe this book can crack you open and it could be really nasty to put yourself back together after.
there is lots of suffering, violence and incredible amount of depression in each word.
i loved the story. i loved each character. i could not relate to any of them (which is seriously beautiful, because how many books do you like just because you see yourself in it? probably most of your favorites.) also, there is no leading female character.

KATERINA by JAMES FREY
katerina was my first book to read during this lockdown. there is a huge fuss about james frey and his novels as after publishing it as his biography, it came out it is not true at all. for me personally, nothing changes, the writing is still good. he ignores grammar most of the time and just writes what he wants and how he feels. just from that you can see why i like this guy.
it is a novel and it is about relationship, drugs, alcohol and life of an artist in paris. i mean, what more do you actually what if you just want to switch off for a little bit?
out of all of these books, i could relate to him maybe too much. i felt like i could be him and i also felt like i could date him any minute. so it kinda says a lot of me.
katerinu najdete TADY. četla jsem to v čestině jsem a vážně nadšená. 

THE RULES DO NOT APPLY by ARIEL LEVY
this is yet another LGBT book i have read during lockdown. beginning is just on the point, exactly how i like it, essayish style - life explained with wit and a strong leading female character. i liked the way how tragic this is, but you never got lost in the pain like in A LITTLE LIFE. shit happens, but you have to survive no matter what, trying to stay little bit sane. maybe i missed bit of romance, but it is just because i am so spoiled by my depressing, overthinking novels full of thoughts and not many actions or conversations.

ALL ABOUT LOVE by BELL HOOKS
personally, i think this book can be hard to swallow for some people. it offers new and radical thinking about love, the author is not much into romantic love as more for companionship, friendship and building solid relationships based on strong family values and dedication to one another. i loved the book. i did not agree with everything, but the first half of the book completely spoke from my heart. it also gives you great ideas for other books to read connected to love as this is more of a research than the normal self development book.

if you expected more, i am sorry you guys, but i also have a job and amount of hours spend watching the ceiling to think about my life and decisions i have made. it is called productivity.

but other books i have read so far:
Ellie and the Harpmaker by Hazel Prior
The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship by Miguel Ruiz
Slow: Finding Peace and Purpose in a Hectic World by Jo Peters
The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra (yes, I am that person)

lastly - find me on GOOD READS. cheers.